I’d always given bats some credit for smarts,
Catching their dinner using radar black arts,
But their foisting on guys and gals a bad flu
Struck me as somewhat beyond their purview,
Not that they don’t have a few beefs with mankind,
Who shrinks their habitat, a species Palestined.
The perfect flu, though, that’s a get-back too far,
A flu so well made, among flues it’s a star:
Infects without symptoms, kills only a few,
Harsh enough to your economy screw,
Makes folks so nervous they wash hands to the bone,
Wear masks that fog glasses in China quick-sewn.
Bat-infection, though, is now getting short shrift,
As among learned folks appears a new rift
In thinking with me that bats are too batty,
And don’t have the stuff to do something catty,
So now our thoughts turn to the Theory Lab-Leak,
From Wuhan, of course, since our labs are too chic.
But ‘round this theory wafts political con:
The very first hit were Chinese and Tehran.
Yankee intel had the first whiff of disas’,
Months before Wuhanites were coughing en masse,
And coming on top China’s SARS and MERS prob’,
Might sly bio-warfare be on the Yank hob?
If that’s the case, we just received an update
Of the panic boiling amidst the Deep State,
Of the envelopes pushed, the flu Grassy Knoll,
All planned to ensure that the good times still roll,
Which must make the Chinese dust off their Sun Tzu,
And focus their minds on the Washington crew.