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NOVEMBER 20, 2017






"It must be terrific having that kind of say, 
And watching fads tumble and poli-polls sway, 
Fanzines hanging on your every last word, 
Weighing your syllables with concern quite absurd, 
Yes, Phil, you must have a wonderful life, 
Being an influencer and playing your fife." 

I'll bet I must hear those words ten times a day, 
But the ignorance, the bliss, the bald naivete'! 
From the kids, the pols, from L.A. and back, 
From folks my thumbs-down would give heart attack! 
Little do they know, and if so would forget, 
How hard is my work guiding man by the Net. 

I'm up at the crack and purveying my tweets, 
Dealing out disses and occasional treats, 
Trashing Beyonce', understanding Jay Z, 
'Cause guys stick together through thick and ha-zy, 
And those knee-boots B. wore at that last event: 
Unworthy of Gaga, much less Fifty Cent! 

Barack checks in and I do politics, 
Advise him big cash and ex-prezzing don't mix: 
"Keep raking it in like nobody will care, 
And in the same boat will you wind up with Blair." 
Chastened, he asks about the next year of Cool, 
I whisper Pet Rocks and bow ties of old school. 

Yes, Pet Rocks are back 'cause I've signed a deal, 
To give them a nod and occasional squeal, 
And urge my sophistics to buy 'em at Ruck's, 
"Where killer high class can be bought for five bucks." 
Far from chic stars they yearn for sincerity, 
Everyman's smile and real-life successity. 

It's lovely to influence my fellow man, 
Be his role model on the DIY plan, 
The money rolls in but what gives the true buzz, 
Is cutting the pie 'tween what's cool and what was, 
Making the point about this life's reality: 
What's right and what's good are what have virality.



A massive banana-plantations strike in Ecuador brings out the best and worst, the comic and the tragic, in American scheming.

A brilliant prison escape, or really an FBI espionage operation?

A businessman reunites by chance with a girl he gave advice to on a short plane ride 7 years earlier. She took his advice: now she's the star of a Broadway dance show.

A presidential election is gamed by one person who, despite exposure and national humiliation, goes on to become a national icon.

Top top Copyright Philip Kraske